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I know well, I’m touched. That happened five years back. She
just bugs the shit out of me. I think I must have been doing some
shitty things to keep my self happy. But I’m Innocent until proven, to
celebrate my good fortune. And the fortune thing always favors the
bold. Now I’ll get me a strainer, I’ll clean it up, I’ll make it nice.
I’m just putting my thoughts in order, of which hate everything, but I
don’t. It’s impossible to make things go back to the way they were.
I just get so lonely sometimes. I need a hug for a moment and
the moment passes. I’m good. There is always the morning after a
hangover, and the realization that I’m not quite as available as I
thought I was the night before, and I’m haunted by yet another road not
taken. All those things that weren’t supposed to happen! they happened.
There’s a lot of making out. I don’t know how to paint with the full set
of emotions. I wish I’ve had a little more success good in the sack.
I never asked, I always wanted to be that guy. That’s what I dug
abut my self. But I’m not sure it would move me one way or the other. I
have never known, why do I love her so much? what is it about her? May
be I got it right at the 1st time, which defines my life. Or sometimes
it’s better not to touch the dream. Here I am a knee deep in river of
regrets. Life is too short to regret, and here I already have wasted my 3
years. I just missed out on practically everything worth living for.
Something bleak isn’t necessary to be true.
I wish to wake up one morning next to one, or just want to go
back near the tutorial where I am waiting since three years. I know it
was not a ‘she’, it was my everything which I have lost. Desperate times
call for desperate measures. Begging for mercy is not my style. The
only thing that I’m truly sorry for is five years back I met someone and
some crazy little shit called love happened, and it was enough to blind
me, Everything else is just noise. Maybe I should do that the world
doesn’t need any more.
It was a moment when my heart was beating the shit out of my
chest, very unexpected moment at which i was feeling pain inside me and
was unable to figure out the reason behind it. The impenetrable time of
my life was lost. Being in love is the most profound, intense painful
experience of my life. I am too sick and tired fighting about the past. I
am too insane now so currently accepting blame for every earthquake,
tsunami, disaster and each crap…. it’s all my fault. When I flash
forward my heart breaks mostly because I know i have lost you forever.
I don’t know where life is taking me, but I know where I do
want to go….and I found this as the hardest thing ever had to do. I was
tend to go on but cudnot make it. May be I was too weak to face the
reality or may be I was too childish imagining everything is alright,
simply I met this and I wasn’t ever looking for it. May be badly I want
to be with someone but I don’t know how to do that and that scares the
shit out of me. I know I am lost in this twisted big bad world, just
want to get the hell out from these turns.
