It is very bad to love someone

Shadow

Many times I feel like the good Lord picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on the bed of rusty nails, pinned me ankles behind my ears and just punched on my chest. I fool myself into thinking that, I can fix things, I can make her come back. It hurts when I see my close friends being in the same dark and all I can do for them is nothing. I know I’m a big fan of the bye bye pain juice. These things make me easy, not sleazy. I feel I’m in the worst invention ever. That’s just me.

Life

10:09 | 0 Comments

There is always something about every damn moment, but fact is there's no always, there's just right now, and it's too long to wait. Now nothing left for the imagination, earth has spun off its axis. I'm haunted and things are falling apart, they are breaking, still waiting to be taken by another road. Resisting the allure ain't working anymore, may be that's called life.

Wounded

11:38 | 0 Comments

I don't like labels. I'm injured, I need more time more distance. I've gone off the deep end and want to get rid of that thing. I don't actually want what you can have. I've missed a spot. It looks cool how the lights change color, but need to back off reading Rainbow and start guessing something in computers, software.

Troubled

17:36 | 0 Comments

I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long, now trying to move on. I hope not to look back but I never forget. I wake up and head off to my job because nothing has changed. Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone. Just in case. Go to bed, dream of you. Don't know when there will be an end of every sleepless night. Now I'm getting trouble walking along the broken road.

Regret

12:22 | 0 Comments

I'm REALLY sorry and I'm trying to apologize to you in a real way. I want to understand why you hate me. It hurts because I know what was going through me when it happened. Obviously I miscalculated a few things. I was glad that I had a pain, and sorry for still bearing it. You're the first person that I've wanted to tell that to. I was blind, but now I see.Being in two places at once ain't letting me sleep. I'm too young to be filled with regret.

Believe

15:38 | 0 Comments

I’m perfectly capable of accessing my pain. I’m going to make it count. Walking away is as simple as sugar cookies, but I have loved you so much that I just wanna lock myself in my room, turn on sad music and cry. I am not able to understand either you have forgiven me or still punishing me. I just stop lying about how there ain’t any things I would change about myself. If you believe in me then you have no idea how much it means to me.

Sad

15:30 | 0 Comments

I don’t know if it’s the sentimental shit in me, but I think it’s reason for my sadness. I haven’t learnt yet the art of hiding sadness, so everybody is asking the reason for my ” ” face. I wish i could tell. I know, I’m always sorry because always I go to the yelling place. I only have myself to blame. There are many steroids running through my body right now and I’m afraid of being turned into the Incredible Hulk. Sometimes I’m not able to figure out how difficult it is to be me, because It’s exhausting being me. I’m here, because I care about my impossible dreams. I know it. I feel it. I always support it unconditionally. I don’t have a back up plan, and I don’t want to waste my ingenue eligibility. I need a break, want to spend some time with my family.

Prick

15:26 | 0 Comments

I thought I was a part of your life. Can’t I stop condescending for one second or is that one of the principles of my bullshit philosophy? I couldn’t imagine doing that day in and day out. Not in this Climate. We all fall for the prick. Pricks are spontaneous, they’re unpredictable and they’re fun. And then we’re surprised when they turn out to be pricks. But I just don’t really have time for the pain. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. I’m awfully isolated the way I live or I’m surrounded.

Highway to Hell

15:24 | 0 Comments

There’s no keeping a secret in this town. The older I get the clearer it becomes that you were the best thing ever happened to me. All my life I thought that sort of life was lame, but now I realize the joke was on me. Thanks for letting me be the crazy one for once. for now I’m who I’m. I’ve to make my own mistakes. I’m not good or bad, I’m a work in progress. Finally in such a place where neither my liver pickles nor my heart aches, Just having trouble to love Myself. That’s just me, an ungrateful heathen, highway to Hell and whatnot.

Guilty

15:15 | 0 Comments

Why am I narrating! May be guilty pleasure or just guilty? what ever that is unfortunate, but it gives new meaning to the life. It was never like it is with me. Sometimes i feel like I have got no love things left, because some people who loves me I just try to push them away. I may try to save the love part so that I can share it with you, just you. Love yeah that’s the stuff dreams are made of. That’s going to be like looking for a needle in a needle stack and it makes me feel like the whole life is being invaded. And now if I’m anything, I’m discrete. That whole love story thing is much cooler in movies than in real life. Finally I can say perception is reality, the truth won’t matter.

Complicated

15:11 | 0 Comments

I have been asking to myself millions of time “Am I alright?” as i see, yes, it is certain. Because it is most likely decided. The outlook is pretty awesome. Signs always point to yes, with no doubt. I’m trying again, asking again later. It’s better not to tell now. Too tired to predict now. Please don’t count on it. My reply is no. My sources declared no, and the outlook is not so good. It’s very doubtful. Simply nothing is what it seems, nor is it.

With Tides

15:10 | 0 Comments

At some point recently, everything became right or wrong. Even at the beach, things were moving down by the tides. I don’t know why the hell tides were in such a damn hurry. I wanted to stay more. Atleast wanted to see you once. I have trouble sleeping, and bed is too short. I have bad dreams like I’m falling. I wake up scared. So time asks me a while to remember where I am. Since loosing you, I’ve lost all sence of joy and pleasure. I have become silent. I think we’re way past that, and when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose. My life has a purpose given by you. I know revolution is a very sad affair and tears are shed. There’s only one thing left to do and that is to knock myself out. Nothing is ever enough, but we live and we try.

Strange

15:04 | 0 Comments

Here I am with something new and some five year old pain. I can’t pretend anymore that it’s not. Funny how some things never change. I can’t be afraid of heights. Am I taking this shit because a stranger raised some stupid question saying why the hell I am punishing myself ! Gathered enough strength and replied its been 3years one month and a twisted day. All due to my less immunity to kind words .Not really understanding how being in love changes you. Is it called the lost art, or I gained enough guts to to accept it now.

Ain't Over Yet

15:02 | 0 Comments

I know well, I’m touched. That happened five years back. She just bugs the shit out of me. I think I must have been doing some shitty things to keep my self happy. But I’m Innocent until proven, to celebrate my good fortune. And the fortune thing always favors the bold. Now I’ll get me a strainer, I’ll clean it up, I’ll make it nice. I’m just putting my thoughts in order, of which hate everything, but I don’t. It’s impossible to make things go back to the way they were.

Lonley

14:53 | 0 Comments

I just get so lonely sometimes. I need a hug for a moment and the moment passes. I’m good. There is always the morning after a hangover, and the realization that I’m not quite as available as I thought I was the night before, and I’m haunted by yet another road not taken. All those things that weren’t supposed to happen! they happened. There’s a lot of making out. I don’t know how to paint with the full set of emotions. I wish I’ve had a little more success good in the sack.

Why Me

14:52 | 0 Comments

I never asked, I always wanted to be that guy. That’s what I dug abut my self. But I’m not sure it would move me one way or the other. I have never known, why do I love her so much? what is it about her? May be I got it right at the 1st time, which defines my life. Or sometimes it’s better not to touch the dream. Here I am a knee deep in river of regrets. Life is too short to regret, and here I already have wasted my 3 years. I just missed out on practically everything worth living for. Something bleak isn’t necessary to be true.

My Wish

14:45 | 0 Comments

I wish to wake up one morning next to one, or just want to go back near the tutorial where I am waiting since three years. I know it was not a ‘she’, it was my everything which I have lost. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Begging for mercy is not my style. The only thing that I’m truly sorry for is five years back I met someone and some crazy little shit called love happened, and it was enough to blind me, Everything else is just noise. Maybe I should do that the world doesn’t need any more.

The Moment

14:44 | 0 Comments

It was a moment when my heart was beating the shit out of my chest, very unexpected moment at which i was feeling pain inside me and was unable to figure out the reason behind it. The impenetrable time of my life was lost. Being in love is the most profound, intense painful experience of my life. I am too sick and tired fighting about the past. I am too insane now so currently accepting blame for every earthquake, tsunami, disaster and each crap…. it’s all my fault. When I flash forward my heart breaks mostly because I know i have lost you forever.

A Letter..

14:41 | 0 Comments

I don’t know where life is taking me, but I know where I do want to go….and I found this as the hardest thing ever had to do. I was tend to go on but cudnot make it. May be I was too weak to face the reality or may be I was too childish imagining everything is alright, simply I met this and I wasn’t ever looking for it. May be badly I want to be with someone but I don’t know how to do that and that scares the shit out of me. I know I am lost in this twisted big bad world, just want to get the hell out from these turns.

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